Why Am I Afraid to Lose Weight?

 

Do what you want when you want!  Not a bad thing!!

Do what you want when you want! Not a bad thing!!

I can just tell this article is going to feel like giving a speech while naked!  OK lets rip off the band-aid!

I lost a pile of weight.  I put a little bit back on and I have been sitting at the same weight for almost 2 years.  Up 10 pounds then down 10 pounds.  I’ll grant you I have tried some experiments that did not work out and I learned a few things about myself.  I’ve been injured more than once for a long time now and that has added an extra level of difficulty to the challenge, but still I have a minimum of 150 pounds still to lose.  I should be able to make some progress unless of course I am sabotaging my efforts. Dum, Dum, Dumb!  The only reason to do that would be fear!

So, what am I afraid of?  Well like most people I am not a big risk taker and change is a risk.  I have experienced some of my highest highs after taking a risk so I know stepping out of my comfort zone can be amazing.  Hanging around in this big body, in my big comfortable chair, in my private quiet house is safe and easy and comfortable.  They are all basically my big castle walls.  You go out in the real world and people are in your personal space and their noisy and opinionated and moving around has my knee aching.  Yeah I want to go back home and sooth myself into oblivion with some chocolate.  Oh boy!  We have a problem!

So if this being fat is so great why not stay that way?  I feel tired.  I often feel sick.  I ache.  I can’t do what I want to do.  Sometimes I get cabin fever.

What is it you want to do?  I want to dance and move like a ninja and feel confident that my body can do what I ask it to do.  If I need to climb a ladder to fix something, I want it to be no big deal.  Sounds good so do it. Dance, move like a ninja, climb a ladder, stop feeling sick, stop aching and stop being tired.  You do know exactly how to do all those things.  You read enough articles and blogs this isn’t a big mystery.Excuses

And hey if somebody is in your personal space move like a ninja, dance away.  People are too noisy, ninja.  You could stand to learn to listen to some music that is slower than 150 RPM and quieter than MAX on the iPod.  Try a ballad some time or some ocean sounds. De-stress occasionally and people probably won’t seem so noisy and would you please put some ice on that knee! DUH!!

So is this the extent of my problem?  No I also like to be in control and I am spoiled.  I want what I want when I want it and nobody better stand in my way.  Topics for another time! Eh that wasn’t so bad!  More navel gazing later I guess!


Comments

Why Am I Afraid to Lose Weight? — 7 Comments

  1. If this is how you really feel you need help from someone other than your friends who love you and don’t want you to hurt any more I’m a rather noisy Ninja so not much help

    • I really don’t like getting help. I like figuring things out for myself. More topics for another article or two.
      Hey you got your comment posted Yeah! Sorry you had trouble before!

  2. Love the honesty. You have your answers and you know exactly what you have to do.I think ultimately you are going to have to figure out for yourself what the pay offs are and decide whether it is more important for you to keep hanging on to the weight or to lose it, as what ever one is the most important to you is going to determine the outcome. Whatever you decide I’m here if i can help at all. I’m not noisy I just like to know. But one thing I do want you to know is that as much as I’d like to see you lose the weight , be healthy and live a long time (so I’ll have company in my old age), what ever you want is okay by me, I like you just the way you are. Good luck my friend….

    • Broken wing I know you accept me just the way I am. The plan is definitely to make changes that improve my health. The questions are about how to do that and what will work for me long term. I have to work with my own personal brand of crazy so first I have to define that brand.

  3. Maybe looking at what will work in the long term is what is so scary I know I get scared stupid if i look too far into the future. There is a lot to be said of the “12 step programs ” and living a day at a time. I have lived an hour at a time to stay away from something or to not be overwhelmed by fear of something or other. I just know it’s okay to have a master plan, but the only time we truly have is right now, right this minute.And in that moment absolutely anything and everything is achievable.

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