Logically I know that I have problems with stress and anxiety. Emotionally? Illogically? Psychotically? Living in stress is a place I know, I understand and I feel comfortable. When I have a deadline buzz going on I am focused and racing and in the moment and producing. I enjoy the adrenaline and testing of my abilities right up until I realize I will not meet the deadline or the project is finished and now what.
In my early years of working this was my daily routine. As I got older I had been through enough unsatisfying races where the project was cancelled but nobody told me or I was being taken advantage of or my hands were tied and I could not succeed no matter what I did. I learned to start reading the traffic, letting others drive sometimes and generally staying at a healthy speed limit. I kind of missed the old days and wondered if I still had the skills and stamina.
This month I have been picking up the slack in another department and finishing a number of their projects for delivery at year end. Hence, why you haven’t seen me much around the blogosphere. Well I still have it! I can work hard and long and produce data like a champ. The body? Oh I am feeling my age! At this moment there is no position that I can sit in comfortably. My joints are saying no to sitting at a computer not moving for hours. My sleep is a mess because I’m still in the race even when it is time to rest. My tummy is in full on revolt! I’m eating soup, salads and tea. Coffee is not an option.
You know what? I’m all excited because I just finished getting everything set up for the next project. Just two more to go! Yep! I have a monkey on my back and I am not doing much to fix that. I may need an intervention! Eh! Nah!! OK, Cindy hands off the keyboard get out from behind the computer and assume the position (downward dog behind my desk, I have a yoga mat and a big exercise ball back here too). I just found the perfect place to hang up my Office Fitness Challenge 2008 award. Right here under my desk. I don’t want to be one of those people that hang old awards on the wall reliving their glory days!