Noticing and Naming Journal

So, I’m taking this “Mindset Makeover” course right now that will make my biggest asset (my mind! Not my sarcastic mouth!) even more shiny and beautiful than it is already. I started it a little skeptical because really who is going to tell me anything I don’t already know! I was pretty certain that I don’t talk negatively to myself and blah, I don’t really want to spend time journaling particularly as I can’t read my own writing. Well, you know how it is “the pride comes before a fall”. You know the original quote is “Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs, 16:18.  Destruction?  Dramatic much?

Why Am I Afraid to Lose Weight?

  I can just tell this article is going to feel like giving a speech while naked!  OK lets rip off the band-aid! I lost a pile of weight.  I put a little bit back on and I have been sitting at the same weight for almost 2 years.  Up 10 pounds then down 10 pounds.  I’ll grant you I have tried some experiments that did not work out and I learned a few things about myself.  I’ve been injured more than once for a long time now and that has added an extra level of difficulty to the challenge, but still I have a minimum of 150 pounds still to lose.  I should be able to make some progress unless of course I am sabotaging my efforts. Dum, Dum, Dumb!  The only reason to do that would be fear! So, what am I afraid of?  Well like most people I am not a big risk taker and change is a risk.  I have experienced some of my highest highs after taking a risk so I know stepping out of my comfort zone can be amazing.  Hanging around in this big body, in my big comfortable chair, in my private … Continue reading

Workout Mojo Please!

This evening I am working on my plan for maximum Thursday morning workout mojo.  I have a trainer that kicks my butt Tuesday and Thursday morning and Thursday is always a little tougher because I am often already beaten up from Tuesday.  So there is that feeling when you first see him of hell I already gave all I got for this week.  Its’ particularly tough if he is waiting for me on the stairs (stair climbing anyone) or has the big mattress out in the gym (exercises while unstable are frustrating). On Tuesday I mocked my trainer and told him the weights were too light and then asked for extra exercises at the end.  I barely stumbled out of that workout.  My legs were jello.  I was sure I was really going to suffer for that workout but the muscle pain hasn’t been bad at all.  I did something I don’t normally do and put ice on my knees after that workout.  Gee maybe this ice thing works!  I think I better do a study on this over the next few weeks.  Wouldn’t that suck if the cure to my aches and pains was the ice everybody has been … Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions

Bah Humbug! I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  I have found that I work best setting daily goals and assessing how I did as I wait to fall asleep each night.  If I feel I came up short on a day then I try to push a little more the next day.  If that doesn’t happen, I’m fine with it I just start fresh and forget the past.  I know it seems like the slackers life plan but it works for me.  I find even weekly goals are too far away and vacuous.  Using visual representations for my goals like a gold star for each job completed or a monetary reward just doesn’t grab me.  I can be a competitive person in the moment and that can help me in a tough workout but generally I don’t care who wins the race or gets the prize.  Don’t think that didn’t drive some of my coaches crazy. My daily goal is just to stay in my healthy routine and once the routine is solid experiment with some additions or subtractions.  When things got too far off the rails go back to the basics and get the routine running solid again.

FEAR

I was reading a post written by Christine at A Deliberate Life on F.E.A.R. (how to kick it in the @ss) and well I got an uncomfortable wake up call.  She talked about “If I had anxiety, I avoided the situation” and “I had created a safe circle from which I could scurry out, grab what would maintain a minimum existence, and then I would scurry back home.”.  Ah Oh!! I often joke that I am Gollum from The Lord of the Rings.  I drag what I need into my cave/home and guard my precious/recliner.  Just like the ring my recliner is my reward and comfort but also my prison as is my house.  I find I am very reluctant to participate in dinners and extra activities making the excuse that my hernia and food problems just make it too difficult.  I wonder how bad my hernia flair ups would really be if I dealt with my anxiety better.

Moanday Link Storm Sept. 17, 2012

Another Moanday and this one is a real moaner. They have been letting people go around work and not the “we can’t afford you any more” kind of lay off. These were the farewell letter to an employee and then their replacement arrives the next day.  To be fair, I don’t really work with these people too much so obviously there was more going on than I knew but it is still unnerving! So today I am going to provide you with fitness web sites that are all about teamwork and helping each other as a community.

Moanday Link Storm Sept. 10, 2012

Ahh!  We are enjoying are first cool days leading into fall.  This is my favourite time of the year.  I am not a fan of being hot and sweaty every time I leave the house.  In the fall you can go out for a long walk and never get over-heated.  The air is generally not smelly because somebodies garbage is baking in the sun.  Where I live fall seems to be a sunny windy time of the year and I am just fine with that.  Also big plus I usually sleep well with the cooler temperatures. Sigh!  Now I see the list of links I wanted to share today and it just doesn’t fit how I feel right now.  Neither does the image I have planned for this post.  Usually I need a lot of coffee on Moanday morning.  Not this morning! Our first article is from Huffington Post’s Soul Talk series.  “Who do you hate?”  This is one of those topics of which there are many that make me realize I must be different.  I have only hated two people in my entire life.  One of those only lasted about a week before the person was forgotten.  You really … Continue reading

Therese Unplugged

Therese is one of the amazing Yise women who has changed my life for the better.  She is astoundingly open with and accepting of her own faults as well as others.  I can always count on Therese to tell it like it is.  Which usually has me at least, bug eyed and jaw dropped!  Everybody should have a friend like Therese! From as far back as childhood I have struggled with my identity, I never felt I fitted in anywhere, a square peg in a round hole.