Monkey on your Back

For a good nights sleep hang this plush toy above your child's bed.  They won't move all night!

For a good nights sleep hang this plush toy above your child’s bed. They won’t move all night!

So I decided to be proactive and at least make a list of ideas for a blog post for Crabby McSlacker over at Cranky Fitness.  Yes I can spell and define proactive and yes somebody wants to post my thoughts on their website!  Well I guess she will want to read it first.  Hopefully not print it just so she can shred it.  We will just have to see.

Anyway I figure I need something that is distinctly me, goofy funny containing fun like substances and be interesting and yet honor Crabby’s slacker vibe.  Yeah, I know.  Time for a nap! I was thinking of talking about how different people have different monkeys on their backs that they have to deal with.  Often we don’t recognize our monkey but it is there.  Naturally I started where all great posts start with the pictures!  I need a picture of my monkey.  Something like Tarzan’s Cheetah I would think, but like really laid back.  Should be easy to do a little image search!  That is when it all went horribly wrong and way off topic!

I went in search of the monkey picture that spoke to me.  I found this.

Joan Rivers MonkeyTell me these two don’t look like Joan & Melissa Rivers!

Barrel-O-MonkeyWho knew that the Barrel-O-Monkeys were actually an accurate representation of a monkey.  I wonder if he and his buddies hang off each other in a chain.

Mix & Match MonkeySomebody gots some splain’in to do ’cause neither parent is a ginger!



Michael Jackson here, white face, stylish hair flip, missing nose and all.  This is actually the sneezing monkey so called because this species of monkey sneezes when it rains as water gets up its nose.  Is the hair flip supposed to act as an umbrella?  I really fail to see the evolutionary advantage of that nose design.

Gomer Pyle MonkeyGomer Pile flat top brush cut and all seems to be over compensating for the sneezing monkey problem!  This is the picture that started me on this adventure.

Monkey in wig coatThis guy looks like a very unhappy blond monkey wearing a massive brown wig as a coat.  This is just a theory but I suspect if we turned him around we would see an equally blonde behind.  That is his evolutionary advantage both ends look like a butt so you never know if he is looking at you or not.  Yeah I’d be unhappy too if I was a butt-face.


Peach MonkeyThis just screams peach hoodie sweat suit to me with white shoes.  This is one Kool Kat!

Nun MonkeysLong beaked nuns?  The baby I just have no words!  Oh I have a word … it’s nightmare!

Vampire Toupe Monkey2Dracula your fool’in nobody with the toupee that doesn’t match your eyebrows!

War Paint MonkeyI think we have found the guy that wore the first headdress and war paint.Red Face MonkeyYep!  I got a sunburn like that once.  Do some sweating and see what happens when it starts to bubble up.Blue MonkeyHonest I didn’t photoshop this guy.  He really is alien blue!  Hey he has the Michael Jackson nose … as well!  Hmmm!

You know what would be a good article for Cranky Fitness is one about how you can use your talent for procrastination, messing around and half assery to get ahead.  Well I guess that article still isn’t written, but now everybody knows I started tried make elaborate excuses.

And then while searching for more pictures I discover some guy has already written an article exactly like mine.  So I’ll throw him a bone and link to a similar article he did “The Bunny Manifesto“.  Now I wonder if all my ideas are already out there possibly written up in a more coherent and interesting manner. Eh! Whatever!


Monkey on your Back — 8 Comments

  1. My monkey is called fear. I am afraid that I will hurt myself in a major way if I try new classes are exercises at the gym. Its a great idea to recognize what is preventing you from reaching goals.

    • Considering the fact that you went to the hospital after the last time you tried something new I think I can understand your fear! As frustrating as it is I think we all have to recognize that sometimes it is going to take baby steps to progress in fitness.

  2. I think this made a pretty awesome post!!! I can’t get over some of those pictures – a little funny and a lot creepy. (the bunnies were good, too)
    Can’t wait to see what you come up with to share over at Crabby’s place!!!

  3. Dang I was offline and missed this awesome post. Please please please please please save my readers from more boring travel posts!

    And if I’ve missed something you’ve sent through some email screwup (sometimes my gmail forwarding decides to go on strike) please nudge me. Or else it will be more freakin lions and gazelles til the end of time. You wouldn’t want that, right?

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