This is an open letter to a certain trainer. How many times do I have to tell you to take it easy on the legs? I need to use them every day, all day! I can function just fine (OK maybe with a lot of grumbling) with sore chest, or arms, or abs, even a sore butt. As long as my hands work and my legs work, I’m good. OK if I’m super tired I’m useless and basically dangerous as well, that’s a given.
Why do I need the legs sooooo bad? Yes I need to get from point A to B, but I’m a princess I’ll get a taxi if I’m suffering in any way. What I do need, which proved almost impossible this morning is to be able to get down to the stupid toilet which is at the appropriate height to accommodate a toddler and then more importantly I need to get back up. I find it imperative to perform this ritual several times a day! I’m funny that way!
Making a big production of it with noises and cursing and gripping of doorways is all well and good when one is at home. When one is at work in a flimsy stall, with witnesses and the stupid auto-flush giving me a butt wash every time I move, this is a herculean task! Well, I knew the day would eventually come when I would have to do the unthinkable. Sigh! I had to lean forward and grab the underside of the stall door. Yep! That zone of unknown cleanliness! I had to make use of it in order to maintain my dignity and get off the pot! I was careful. I just pray nobody saw my fingers on the outside of the door. I’m not the shy type but, that is too freaky!
How did I get in this terrible state? I am blaming a certain trainer and his love affair with squats and the word lower!!
OK FINE, I love, love, love my trainer but, I’m a little traumatized right now!
Hey! Now I can perform a scientific test to find out which of my friends read my blog right away! If they dodge when I go to pat them on the shoulder in greeting, then they have seen my post. If they don’t respond I give them a neck massage and then tell them this story. Eh, maybe not their all sweaty buggers!
UPDATE: If I seem cranky in this article from yesterday you should see me today!!