Uhhhhhh! Woof, Woof, Woof! Breath! OK. Today I’m going to talk about the thing that scares me. But first I’ll talk around the edges of the topic. Then I’ll hint at the topic and run away to some other slightly related story. Then maybe I’ll pull off the scab and say it. People say I am brave for actually putting my real weight on this web site and putting up a picture of myself in a swimsuit. That is nothing! Here it is my personal kryptonite. I am a binge eater!
Wow! I am shaky! I usually avoid talking about food because I have so much anxiety about it. I’m sure anybody that has had a weight problem can relate to this. When I eat in public people watch me and judge me, whether they are strangers, friends or family. When I eat what is perceived as healthy I sometimes get the “good girl and a pat on the head” and when I eat a brownie I often get reprimanded with “You shouldn’t have that”. I’m a 48 year old adult. What I eat is nobody’s business but mine. I have the right to live my life in any way I choose. What about the medical costs when that brownie turns into a heart attack? Here is the deal. You may think you know me, and you know something about me, but you don’t. I don’t even know everything about me and I’m an intelligent woman who has spent much more time examining me under a microscope than anybody. Peeing in my pool by judging me does not improve the situation in any way for me. Maybe it makes you feel like a big deal. That’s your problem!
Oops I didn’t talk about what I was supposed to. Ahh, I’ll have a Part 2 maybe a Part 3, 4 and 5! Once I get going you just can’t stop me.
Thanks Joyce! (She gave me some clues that helped me move this topic out of the unpublished pile.)