Food is my kryptonite. My relationship with food is complex and dysfunctional. It has been that way most of my life. I have messed around with food for so many years that I have no sense of hunger nor do I recall ever having that feeling. Now that I have a hernia my stomach will let me know it has been too long since I have eaten by giving me heartburn. I do get very persistent cravings which can last for many hours regardless of what I eat or do not eat. I am often almost paralyzed in my inability to select food that will satisfy my needs. This is because simple nutrition is not the only need that food meets. When I have trouble making a good decision I will either make no decision and not eat or make a bad carb loaded bad decision which will put me into a carb coma where my brain is quiet. When I delay eating for hours or even a day I am pretty much guaranteeing that when I do eat I will binge on carbs. This is pretty much a classic binge and starve scenario that sends my body into a tailspin. I know what you are thinking, just eat a salad until you are full. Sometimes that will work but, often I will eat my salad without ever being satisfied. A few hours after the salad I am looking for something to fill my emotional needs. It becomes like an itch I cannot scratch that is getting worse.
Because I have such anxiety associated with food I require that food be as small a part of my day as possible. I need to stay on a schedule, be consistent and avoid making decisions about food. For this reason I am often on a food delivery program. Right now I am eating the www.personalgourmet.com plan by Rose Riesman. I get the frozen food once a week. I prefer the frozen plan as it allows me to decide each day while I am holding the freezer door what I will eat. I have been on the fresh daily delivery plan which is excellent but I had problems with not wanting the food I had selected for a particular day once that day arrived.
I have also used www.liciousliving.com . I loved the egg white omelets from Licious Living, but I found their program did not provide as much fish as I like. I also found that the quality of the food could sometimes vary. When I am paying top dollar for my food the quality has to always be top notch.
I do get bored with the food delivery every so often so I will often go off the plan for a couple weeks and during that time I will eat grocery store bought diet frozen dinners and take out diet food.
I don’t cook. I can cook. I used to cook on the weekend and freeze food for the rest of the week. I plan to experiment with cooking again. If I treat it as an experiment rather than part of my routine I think I will have better success with it and I can add greater variety to my meals. I can also confront my food anxieties more directly.