Well, I’m several weeks into my new routine. I still haven’t seen much happiness from the scale, but I am using a different scale so that could be a factor. I look a little different so something is going on as a result of the extra exercise. With 2 hours of swimming 5 days a week I have gotten kind of dried out and itchy and my hair is going all tumble weed on me. I do feel better as my joints are happier with all the water work. I guess I need to stop whining about the scale and realize what a big deal it is to feel better!
The whining has resulted in me realizing how messed up my relationship with food is. I have been extra anxious about eating right since what I have been eating wasn’t resulting in weight loss. Well guess what happens when I am all anxious about food? I research my choices endlessly and then I go and look at my choices and then I leave frustrated because I can’t commit to any choice other than the ones that were already not working for me. The “you should”, “you could”, “you better” talk is getting to me and I am fighting it. I refuse to have kale or quinoa or chick peas because I should have them. A person who is trying to eat healthy would eat them. That person certainly wouldn’t have a burger. So guess what? I want that burger bad as a result. On paper I am eating pretty well but I am stressed out and I have to change my thinking.
I am going to try thinking in terms of giving myself the gift of trying new foods. Just trying them not committing to a meal. If I like something then I can have more. I am also going to stop researching menus and ingredients.
I am doing really well on the holiday party feasting so far! I am pretty conscious of the idea that those cookies and candies are not going to make me feel great later. It’s funny that I have always been good at dealing with peer pressure to eat things at this time of the year. It is my inner bully pushing me around that causes me all the problems.