Woman in recliner with TV remote

I relaxing after a long day! I deserve this! It’s too hard to do anything else!

I was reading a post written by Christine at A Deliberate Life on F.E.A.R. (how to kick it in the @ss) and well I got an uncomfortable wake up call.  She talked about “If I had anxiety, I avoided the situation” and “I had created a safe circle from which I could scurry out, grab what would maintain a minimum existence, and then I would scurry back home.”.  Ah Oh!! I often joke that I am Gollum from The Lord of the Rings.  I drag what I need into my cave/home and guard my precious/recliner.  Just like the ring my recliner is my reward and comfort but also my prison as is my house.  I find I am very reluctant to participate in dinners and extra activities making the excuse that my hernia and food problems just make it too difficult.  I wonder how bad my hernia flair ups would really be if I dealt with my anxiety better.

Well it seems I have some work to do and I am actually excited about it.  Instead of my usual plan of conquering this entire problem in one bite and ending up with a big backlash I am going to take little bites.  I should make small changes that get me out of the house more.  I have a confession.  I have never been to the local markets that my friends always talk about.  I never go to art shows or festivals or plays.  Maybe once a month I will plan to see something I have never seen.  Yep there it is the Yikes I don’t want to feeling!  Change!  Entering the unknown!!   I also need to counter balance the extra stress.  Swimming will help there as long as the pool isn’t crazy.  Hmm this isn’t going to be easy!  I have been hiding out for too long!


FEAR — 4 Comments

  1. fear …a bit of a cop out As you friends accept your failings any excuses you make may just be you closing your eyes to problems that could be dealt with.get out of your recliner and come on down!

  2. Your honesty is admirable. Fear can be so crippling on times, I know, as I have felt it so many times, and it is so NOT a cop out….really..who would by choice prefer to be glued to a chair in a house alone.? For me when I got anxious and scared I clung to what was familiar, which usually meant some form or other of isolation. The tools I use now is to write down what I think I am afraid of and 9times out of 10, my fear is of fear itself. The next thing I do is to keep things in the moment, that way I am not overwhelmed by what would scare or horrify me if I thought I had to do it for a lifetime. Then by that point I am able to put one foot in front of the other and get out of the chair/room/house and go do whatever I need to do for ME and who I choose to trust. We don’t get this way overnight lasting change takes time, you are learning new tools all the time, I think you are making amazing steps forward and I’m proud of every new foot forward you make. Thanks for including me on your journey:-)

  3. I attended an online Busness of Software conference earlier this week and you are probably wondering what the F…. does this have to do with your topic, well one of the speakers gave a lightening talk (10 minute talk with 15 poweroint slides) The topic of the speaker’ s talk was “Living Fearlessly”, below is the short write up on the talk, the url is at the end, maybe you will find it helpful

    It’s time to decide. Fight? Or Flight? Fear is one of four major emotions we feel on a regular basis. It is the most important one to business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs because it influences decisions we make every single day. Overcoming fear can be the catalyst that propels your relationships, your business and your life to a whole new level. This lightning talk is a short story about making an important personal life-changing decision to overcome fear, and finishes with some practical tips for how you can finally identify the fears in your life, get over it, and get on with life.

    URl is here http://businessofsoftware.org/lightning/living-fearlessly/
    They have not made the videos of 2012 conference available yet, they should be up shortly conference just ended on October 3

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