Facebook Pictures

This is how you do Food Porn and that is how you do ketchup!!

This is how you do Food Porn and that is how you do ketchup!!

Why do people fill up my Facebook feed with pictures of their meals? Sometimes they are half eaten meals. I don’t need to know that you perform the sacrilege of letting the green beans touch your mashed potatoes. It puts me right off my food to see that there is a dollup of ketchup on your plate that has obvious signs that has been used but, there is nothing on your plate that goes with ketchup. Are you just sticking your finger in the ketchup and eating it straight. Please tell me you are not dipping the green beans! Bletch!!

I can understand if you have an attractive picture of some meal and then the recipe beside it with a description of the taste of the food. That makes sense!! You are doing a service to the world. Thank you! Some blurry in the darkened restaurant picture of a yellow blob and some green stuff on a plate? NO!!!

I feel like you’re trying to develop an alibi for some crime. “I couldn’t have killed my wife by drowning her in the pool, clearly I would have been too lethargic from that steak dinner I had 45 minutes before the murder. Besides everybody know you must wait one hour before swimming officer!”

Let’s face it folks! I don’t really care what you ate for lunch unless it is near my office and on sale and heavenly. Then you can phone me on my cell and tell me to get down there! If a large spider crawled out of your vegetables at some swanky restaurant, warn me then send me the picture. Otherwise just keep that mystery to yourself.

I couldn't wait until Halloween.  This just makes me happy!

I couldn’t wait until Halloween. This just makes me happy!

I can’t speak for your other Facebook friends personally but, I suspect they feel the same. You are burying countless super funny jokes and videos under a pile of blah! Oh and on that topic. The family reunion!! Stop posting a picture of every single relative that went to the reunion. You post that only to your other relatives not all 200 friends and tell that guy with the teeth to keep them in his mouth. Why are they on his head?

People wonder why I don’t Instagram.

UPDATE: Facebook will be introducing a new satire tag for some articles so that users will not be fooled by articles of the kind that appear in The Onion.  I suggest we must lobby for a tedious or boring tag so that we can avoid the 30 family reunion pictures and pictures of people’s breakfast, lunch and dinner.


Comments

Facebook Pictures — 5 Comments

    • Yep right after I wrote this my friend posted a picture of spare ribs with BBQ peanut and garlic sauce on them. I shared it all over the place.

  1. Bravo Cindy.
    Actually I was trying to send my newest photo of a cracker with cheese whiz with a smoked oyster and topped off ever so tastefully by a mint leaf. Damn thing wouldn’t download. Don’t worry as I will keep trying.

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