I am having a really good day today! Hmmm how can that be? I worked all weekend and today recreating a project my computer corrupted missing out on some great weather. I am punchy from too much coffee and not enough sleep. Naturally my boss decided he really didn’t need a third of the data I knocked myself out creating over the weekend. Still I am having a great day! You know why? I did more than I thought I would. I did something extra. Even though I was tired I made the extra trip and got the cat I have been growling at lately the good cat food. I felt pretty good about myself. So I ripped up those cardboard boxes that wouldn’t fit in the recycling and stuffed them in the bin. Yep I’m good!
Ok so I have decided to tackle one of those topics that I just don’t really feel fully prepared for. Of course my computer wants to misbehave and ding at me instead of record my brilliant observations. I figure if I am going to put myself out there on the internet and talk about being fat I have to expect that people are going to think I speak for fat people in general. Umm No I speak for me! I can only guess what other fat people think, do or know, just like you. I also get a little irritated when somebody gets up on their soap box and says I speak for fat people or women or any other group that I belong to. Yeah I get it! If we are all speaking for ourselves to the world what you get is noise and no clear message. So here goes, this is what I believe about fat people. I believe that everybody has the right to respect and equal opportunities.
So you envy those nutty people that workout in the morning and arrive at work all chipper and ready to go. Well I am one of those people most of the time. Sometimes I lose my morning mojo, but I am determined to get it back. It just makes everything else easier!! I’m working on getting myself to the pool for 5AM from now on. I did it in the past with great success and even now when I do accomplish it I feel much better and have less pain from my injuries. It seems I have lost some of my early morning mojo. I Wake up on time but I don’t get up! I bargain and make promises to myself and change my mind.
I was reading a post written by Christine at A Deliberate Life on F.E.A.R. (how to kick it in the @ss) and well I got an uncomfortable wake up call. She talked about “If I had anxiety, I avoided the situation” and “I had created a safe circle from which I could scurry out, grab what would maintain a minimum existence, and then I would scurry back home.”. Ah Oh!! I often joke that I am Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. I drag what I need into my cave/home and guard my precious/recliner. Just like the ring my recliner is my reward and comfort but also my prison as is my house. I find I am very reluctant to participate in dinners and extra activities making the excuse that my hernia and food problems just make it too difficult. I wonder how bad my hernia flair ups would really be if I dealt with my anxiety better.
Stop trying to spell check me! I’m Canadian and the word is metre!!!!!So I finished the “Run For The Cure”. Rusty kept me on the trail which proved a little difficult as we had a mix of runners, walkers, dogs, children and strollers for the first kilometer even though we deliberately started late to give the runners a head start. I hate to be a grouch, but some of us are the walking wounded and are not going to bounce right back from a collision. I don’t even want to think what would happen to a child. Next year I am starting 10 minutes late rather than 5 and hoping for less bouncing around from the runners. Anyway less crabbiness more Yea Haw I walked 5K!! I have been a real drama queen about this wondering if I could finish this walk. I resolved that I was going to bail on the race if I had any problems and that was just going to have to be good enough. Well you know it wasn’t so bad. Kind of thrilling to walk through the finish line like one of those pros you see on TV! I tried to do a Rocky … Continue reading
I saw a quote today that helped define for me a phenomenon I have seen all my life but did not recognize. I would ask a rather sheltered friend of mine what he believed about this or that and he often replied that he was raised to believe one thing or another. I was always shocked that he had not questioned what he was taught. He was not a fan of reading or research and he was not really that interested in the other points of view. He had a set of answers that worked in the life he led and that was good enough for him. Later on in my life I began to run into people that had put a great deal of time into research of various kinds. When I would express my opinion on an area they felt they knew a lot about some people would talk over me and drowned me out in order to give me their expert opinion on the topic. Sometimes they were so busy giving their opinion that they actually failed to correctly identify the topic of my original conversation. I would be frustrated but also gave their argument greater weight because … Continue reading
This morning I was not at my best working out with my trainer. Oops! Positivity! Uh, it wasn’t even close to being my worst workout. My positive attitude lasted right up until the half way point when I got tired. That’s when I started paying a lot of attention to how hard the exercises were and how much I had left to do and how hot and sweaty I was. I began to think there was no way I could do all this and besides I didn’t want to do it and it was hard. At that is when my stomach decided to revolt. I have a lot of tummy troubles and it is a real barometer for what is going on in my head. It is also a great cop out when I get negative. Am I really feeling too green to do more or am I using it as an excuse! Anyway at this point I stopped and took a rest but was now convinced that I could not reset and get back in the game. Yep! I got exactly what I expected.My trainer switched me over to my go to exercise that I am always certain I … Continue reading
I have been tired the last few months and it has been hard to put a good effort into my workouts. Quite frankly I have been just coming in and hoping the energy is there or it will show up at some point. There is no mystery about why I am messed up. My sleep pattern is off and I am trying to lose weight and therefore am eating fewer calories. In the past I have often felt more energized with fewer calories actually I have often felt that way with less sleep. Yep I know I’m weird! So what can I do to recharge and become more alert right now this minute so that I can put in a good showing?