Emergency Relief Fund Needed

We thank you for your past support in donating $100 each month to our important cause for the betterment and beautification of a small group of fellow Torontonians. We appreciate that you have only visited the facility that one time to sign up and gain a tour and yet you somehow snagged a coveted eye height non-breeze-way permanent locker. You are a very lucky individual! In exchange for your donation you can take pride in knowing that other less apathetic or possible more desperate or organized individuals can know and fully understand the pain of DOMS first hand.

Facebook Pictures

Why do people fill up my Facebook feed with pictures of their meals? Sometimes they are half eaten meals. I don’t need to know that you perform the sacrilege of letting the green beans touch your mashed potatoes. It puts me right off my food to see that there is a dollup of ketchup on your plate that has obvious signs that has been used but, there is nothing on your plate that goes with ketchup. Are you just sticking your finger in the ketchup and eating it straight. Please tell me you are not dipping the green beans! Bletch!!

I Out Stunk a Skunk

I have smelt a skunk a few different times at night while I was in bed this summer. I would jump up every time because I thought it was the cat who likes to pee outside his kitty-litter if he is upset. I figure he had upped his game and pooped beside my bed. After much searching and lecturing of the cat, I would figure out the smell was from outside. A skunk! I started to think how many skunks do we have in this neighbourhood? Usually if you smell one you will soon see some poor guy that was run over by a car. No bodies! We don’t have any loose dogs around here that would chase a skunk. Would a raccoon or a cat chase a skunk?

Leave the legs ALONE!

This is an open letter to a certain trainer. How many times do I have to tell you to take it easy on the legs? I need to use them every day, all day! I can function just fine (OK maybe with a lot of grumbling) with sore chest, or arms, or abs, even a sore butt. As long as my hands work and my legs work, I’m good. OK if I’m super tired I’m useless and basically dangerous as well, that’s a given.

Chick Magnet

Hi All! I have an article over at Cranky Fitness today about visiting the big gym.  Crabby McSlacker is the host over there and she is super funny while still being informative.  I don’t know how much business she is going to get coming from my site to hers but as you can see I have my Chick Magnet on high so hopefully I will be able to suck a few readers in that aren’t related to me by blood.  Don’t get me wrong I do love my existing readers.  Hi Mom!

Monkey on your Back

So I decided to be proactive and at least make a list of ideas for a blog post for Crabby McSlacker over at Cranky Fitness.  Yes I can spell and define proactive and yes somebody wants to post my thoughts on their website!  Well I guess she will want to read it first.  Hopefully not print it just so she can shred it.  We will just have to see. Anyway I figure I need something that is distinctly me, goofy funny containing fun like substances and be interesting and yet honor Crabby’s slacker vibe.  Yeah, I know.  Time for a nap! I was thinking of talking about how different people have different monkeys on their backs that they have to deal with.  Often we don’t recognize our monkey but it is there.  Naturally I started where all great posts start with the pictures!  I need a picture of my monkey.  Something like Tarzan’s Cheetah I would think, but like really laid back.  Should be easy to do a little image search!  That is when it all went horribly wrong and way off topic!