Sex – Beware the Black Widow

On August 15th when I wrote Oxytocin Could Boost Social Sensitivity I warned you this article was coming.  Hopefully I haven’t lost too many readers to this problem between then and now.  Just a minute gotta check the site stats.  Uh Oh.  I mean I warned you!  Hardly my fault if your die being irresponsible.  You would think a warning like “Sex will kill you! 100% Guaranteed” would be enough.

Gym Etiquette

It’s time for one of those almost required articles for a web site like this.  Gym Etiquette.  This one will be taught by the person most likely to break the rules.  Cindy “the slob” Fatchick!  Maybe I should have a shirt made up for myself.  Just as a warning for my unsuspecting adversaries. What you have to understand is although you may be sweating and grunting your way through your morning muscles wake up call.  For some other people a visit to the gym is more of a gentle, spiritual awakening of the senses (or so I assume).  They look at you and see a pig at the trough and you look at them and wonder who invited the Queen of England. So in an effort to provide some middle ground where we can all get along here is my take on the rules of gym etiquette.

It Ain’t High School Gym Class

At one time you were a 17 year old high school geek praying it wasn’t going to be square dancing day or yoga day or gymnastics day in gym class.  You hoped you were not picked last for team sports and that you were invisible when changing in the locker room.  Most people had the same experience in gym class.  There was something you were not good at and the potential for embarrassing debacles was high. That’s right you have spent years erasing that 17 year old twit from your memory.  You’re a responsible adult that others look to for guidance.  You don’t stammer and stutter your way through a meeting.  You are clear, concise and effective.  So how come that 17 year old is the one making your decisions about fitness?  I can’t join a health club! I won’t fit in!  I won’t know what to do!  People will look at me and laugh behind my back!

This Fat Chick isn’t Hiking! Part2

In Part One of this article I discussed what you should wear to go hiking.  Now I will finish up with some more of my hiking observations. How to reduce the number of times you tip over! Proper footwear discussed in Part One Get a walking stick.  Some people have two walking sticks or ski poles or poles specifically for hiking.  I have one walking stick and it has a little shock absorber (cool!) but no chrome or racing stripes (bummer!)  I am too dangerous with two sticks.  I will start adjusting something or lean over to pick something up and those two poles get waving around in the air.  Either that or a drop one and it slides down a hill.  I am not proud of it but I am lazy so I generally pull out my helpless and distressed female act at these times and get somebody else to go get my stick for me.

How to Install Pelvic Flooring

It’s time for another Squeamish Moments Session with Cindy!  Yeah!!  I feel like Crusty the Clown, Hey, Hey,Hey!!  Any guys reading this can leave now.  This article is about girl stuff!! You would think I was one of those kids that brought her snake to school or ate earth worms.  Nope I ran away screaming from that kid but I always looked from a safe distance.  This article is kind of like that. I was reading http://www.curvygirlguide.com/health-2/how-to-install-pelvic-flooring/  and since I loved her title I used it.  I steal all my best work. She recommends Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor so that you can do jumping jacks without peeing on yourself.  Hey, statistics say that 1 in 3 woman who have gone through child birth have this condition so don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.   The young gals can learn something here as well.  Imagine the fun when you have developed strong pelvic muscles and can shoot out baby number one alien style.  If you don’t manage to scare the doctor I’m sure any family that has been invited will provide the desired reaction.

D2 Shoes

My cycling shoes have arrived!!!!  I ordered them at the end of January.  D2 Shoes sent me the measuring kit and foam forms for me to give them the size and shape of my feet.  Thats right they are custom made for my feet.  I sent in the foam and such mid February and I have been waiting ever since.  Seems they are very popular and although they have been trying to add staff and keep up … well.  I wasn’t too upset as my injuries make it hard for me to walk and bike riding is not much better. I am really excited about this so I tried them on and modelled them around the office.  They look great with my black dress.  It is amazing to have a pair of shoes with the arch support in the right spot and no crushed toes!!!  I have trouble even buying running shoes for these monster feet of mine.  All the better to not tip over I say. I guess this means I have to show my sorry face in spinning class again after a long break.

This Fat Chick isn’t Hiking!

You read that right.  This Fat Chick isn’t hiking!  Not gonna do it! No way!  Uh UH! I want to hike.  Well that’s not true.  We are having a heat wave!  If the weather was cooler I would definitely like to go.  So what is the problem?  I have a booboo!  Actually I have several injuries.  Hiking just isn’t in the cards right now. So today I am going to talk about Fat Chick hiking, one of my favorite sports!  There is nothing like getting into the woods, hearing the breeze in the trees, smelling the tree bark and pine needles and watching the sunshine dance through the leaves.  Yep, I’m a big tree hugger followed closely by a babbling brook … babbler? Splishsplasher? Hmm.

Moanday Link Storm

Moanday instead of Monday Ha!!  That was an accident but it is so true.  My mother was kind enough to pick out my spelling and grammar mistakes on the site this weekend so I could correct them.  I wonder what she will make of this.  I blame my spelling problems on the fact that I can never find my reading glasses so I am just guessing what is actually getting written on this page. So on MOANdays I am going to try to make a habit of posting links to interesting articles on the web. A friend is having some weight loss success after years of amazing discipline with little result using this web site http://www.myfitnesspal.com/  She has been able to increase her calories and still lose weight.  She is similar to many older woman in that her metabolism has slowed down and she has a persistent 20 Lbs stuck on her tummy and hips. There is an interesting series on HBO called The Weight of The Nation about obesity.  I know you don’t get HBO.  Not a problem you can watch the series on-line even up here in Canada at http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/ Here is an article Pam from www.FatGirls4Fitness.com sent me on the … Continue reading