Potato Chips – Irresistible!

First things first!  I want to write about this time change which I thought I was handling really well even though I do tend to get insomnia.  Unfortunately I am so out of my mind tired right now that I can barely fake … ANYTHING!!!!  Please let this be the start of a cold and not the start of insomnia!!!! Update: The sugar thing is going pretty well.  Some backsliding but generally doing well. The piriforma muscle issue is better and I made a lot of progress at first but I’m stuck.  I have increased my flexibility to the point that I can now cross my legs (Whoo Hoo!) but I can’t seem to get the last 30% of this problem fixed.  Pinky has resorted to having needles stuck in her butt and electricity added to that.  I think I will just keep doing what I have been doing and let her find the ultimate cure.  I’m not in a big hurry to sit on a tennis ball or hook myself up electro-shock of the arse just yet.

Blah! Blah! Blah!

I haven’t written for a while. I’m tired! I’m cranky! I’m bored! I want somebody else to make it all better. I don’t want to do this and I don’t want to do that and I don’t want to eat anything healthy. I’m having a full on temper tantrum so I am going to sit and stew about it. OK it isn’t really all that bad. It’s just the fall is my time of the year when I feel my best and I haven’t been feeling my best and I don’t want to take responsibility for it yet. I would rather blame it all on the construction next door (12 hours a day, 7 days a week and their generator running slobs that drove a cement truck back and forth over my lawn and they put the porta-potty under my bedroom window so I smell it.) Also I hurt my back showing off. Usually when things go bad I figure they are unlikely to get worse so I get a little happy. This time I am just wallowing in the sh*t or at least smelling it (OK, I made them move the pooper).

Facebook Pictures

Why do people fill up my Facebook feed with pictures of their meals? Sometimes they are half eaten meals. I don’t need to know that you perform the sacrilege of letting the green beans touch your mashed potatoes. It puts me right off my food to see that there is a dollup of ketchup on your plate that has obvious signs that has been used but, there is nothing on your plate that goes with ketchup. Are you just sticking your finger in the ketchup and eating it straight. Please tell me you are not dipping the green beans! Bletch!!

I Out Stunk a Skunk

I have smelt a skunk a few different times at night while I was in bed this summer. I would jump up every time because I thought it was the cat who likes to pee outside his kitty-litter if he is upset. I figure he had upped his game and pooped beside my bed. After much searching and lecturing of the cat, I would figure out the smell was from outside. A skunk! I started to think how many skunks do we have in this neighbourhood? Usually if you smell one you will soon see some poor guy that was run over by a car. No bodies! We don’t have any loose dogs around here that would chase a skunk. Would a raccoon or a cat chase a skunk?

Leave the legs ALONE!

This is an open letter to a certain trainer. How many times do I have to tell you to take it easy on the legs? I need to use them every day, all day! I can function just fine (OK maybe with a lot of grumbling) with sore chest, or arms, or abs, even a sore butt. As long as my hands work and my legs work, I’m good. OK if I’m super tired I’m useless and basically dangerous as well, that’s a given.

Boredom: The Hallmark of Success

So, today I was reading an article about anxiety on the internet written by some doctor. For all I know he could have a doctorate in basket weaving. I didn’t check. Anyway it was the usual thing where they describe your situation perfectly and tell you there is an easy cure and even though other experts have said do this or that, they have a better way. As soon as you see the word easy your thinking “How much money do you want?”. Next the article goes off on a tangent giving you examples and background information and then back to the message that they have the cure. Your eyes are starting to glaze over at this point and you’re ready to give up. Just give me the punch line or tell me what you really want. Stop wasting my time. This article did something different that made me laugh.

Aqua Fit Shoes?

Ahhhhh! I need somebody to go down to the mall and get me some bedroom slippers or maybe a fluffy bathroom mat that I can cut in half and duck tape to my massive feet. I have no common sense! First thing this morning I beat up my feet and knees doing lunges and squats with my trainer and then I did 2 Aqua Fit classes. The second class I picked a corner and just ignored the class and jumped around like crazy as I thought I wasn’t working hard enough. Then I jumped around some more on my own for another half hour. I like jumping around in the water. I really can’t jump much at all on land. Now I need a nap really bad and my work day has only just started. This is going to be a long day and as per usual I will probably wake up as soon as I leave the office and be staring at the ceiling of my bedroom tonight instead of sleeping. I also scraped all the skin off of my feet jumping on tiled pool bottom too long, hence the give me slippers call for help!

Women Over 40

Today I received a junk email called Women over 40 Rules!  I went ballistic. There was a lot of F***U.  I trashed the email unread right away.  I have just heard about my limit of ten ways I’m not cutting it and Bleep, Bleep, Bleep Emergency Bikini season, the world will end.  Now, I have rules for women over 40.  Well I’m over 50 so … What is the sound you make when you stick out your tongue and do a raspberry? UGH!