Anxiety

Why is it that when I concentrate my tongue always sticks out making me look foolish?  No Its true.  When I workout my tongue is always hanging out of my mouth.

Why is it that when I concentrate my tongue always sticks out making me look foolish? No Its true. When I workout my tongue is always hanging out of my mouth.

Hey there!
I have decided to deal with my backlog of half-finished blog postings.  Ugh!  Most of these articles just spin around all over the place never getting anywhere.  Others have a good idea but I just don’t seem to be able to get the entirety of the idea out of my head and stuck onto a page in some sort of coherent manner.  Hmm I was about to say I should have paid attention in English class but, I don’t remember ever being taught how to write.  I remember being taught how to write different types of poetry and learning the parts of an essay.  Oh right I probably wasn’t paying attention and that’s why I don’t remember.  Yeah, all I cared about was if there was an assignment and how many words did they want.
Below is something I wrote about anxiety a while back and it isn’t bad.  I would just update it but, I have had some improvement so some of this is history now.

I had some trouble today with anxiety as I often do when I push myself with the trainer.  Well I didn’t really push myself that hard to tell the truth.  I anticipated that I might have a problem as I was sick Sunday and Monday with hernia problems.  I succeeded in sabotaging my workout for a time by going too fast and breathing too fast.  I then scared myself into a momentary stomach upset which I get if I am too anxious so I stopped and I started again and I stopped and I moved on to the next exercise and I stopped.  So I took a break but I knew my head was not in a good place.  My trainer changed up my exercises giving me more control by switching from timed exercises to a number of reps.  Now that I felt I had more control and I knew when the exercise would end I was able to slow down and think about the muscles I was using and control my breathing.  Now you may think I am too hard on myself and when I reread this that is what I see as well.  I am not down on myself about this workout I am actually really pleased that I finished out the session.  I could have just as easily have walked away believing this was only going to get worse if I pushed myself.

No I have to figure out how to deal with this problem.

One problem is that I race. When something is physically difficult I have to watch my speed and breathing which are linked.  I guess I am a brute force kind of girl.  If there is a big job to do just hit it harder and faster and lose yourself in the rhythm.  Probably why I am not a fan of ballads.  Going slow feels boring but also you get to feel each muscle and what it is doing which is OK but sometimes more information than I want to deal with.  It can get a little grim if you are feeling each muscle complaining as you move through an exercise.  I know some people thrive on that but I’m not there yet.

Yep!  That's how my new workouts feel!

Yep! That’s how my new workouts feel!

Well I haven’t been getting nauseated during my workouts in a while.  My trainer made some changes so I am too busy to let negative thinking get me to that point.  He reduced my reps and increased the number of exercises I do in a series so I am constantly changing to the next exercise and actually I pretty much do what I’m told now unless something isn’t working.  I still give him the look of death and ask him why he wants to be so mean to an old fat lady.  Recently we have started increasing the reps on many of the exercises.  We are also working on my breathing.  I am finding that difficult.  When I am controlling my breathing properly I often convince myself I am not getting enough air or I am dizzy.  Lies!!!
I am also getting a better feel for what I can eat that will keep my hernia from being an issue.  Good-bye all tomato sauce covered delicacies.

I guess I need to just concentrate on being fabulous and let all the little worries take care of themselves!

I guess I need to just concentrate on being fabulous and let all the little worries take care of themselves!

Anyway this anxiety thing does have a lot of faces.  I will find I have a good tool for dealing with the difficult people induced anxiety but that tool isn’t the right one for my anxiety that is the result of my false perceptions caused by looking for problems.  At least I now know what I have to work on.  I used to think I was one of those people that just rolled with the punches.  Hmm, topics for another time.
Anybody have some suggestions for learning to take control of your thoughts and stop looking for problems?


Comments

Anxiety — 9 Comments

  1. If you ever find the answer to that last question (about learning to take control of your thoughts and stop looking for problems) please let me know!!!

    • I suspected somebody would suggest mindfulness and meditation. I have been telling myself that my complete lack of focus was part of my charm all this time.

  2. The taking control of your thoughts thing… SO hard but so crucial. But I’m a living example that it can be done, ’cause my anxiety is way way less than it used to be.

    I could write a book (and probably will, not that anyone will want to read it!) about the whole process, but it is about practice and repetition and slow growth just like exercise is. Figuring out what you WANT to have going through your head, and then steering your mind there all the time… a huge pain in the ass but helpful.

    I find “brainwashing” helpful; filling my mind with inspirational books, audios, etc. Rick Hanson is a fave, but there are many others.

    Good luck, but it sure seems like you are determined to take control of your thoughts and I think if you keep at it you will notice a huge change over time!

    • I am pretty good at telling myself stories and believing them. I once told myself repeatedly that chocolate tasted like ExLax. It really put me off the stuff for a long time. I can also turn a crappy day around pretty easily just by looking for the good.
      Now I just need to figure out what story to tell myself that will stop negative thinking before I notice it starting. Usually I am in trouble already by the time I realize I have a problem.

  3. I can’t answer your last question, but I wonder: where does all your anxiety come from? I reckon it isn’t limited to working out, is it? You seem to put yourself under a lot pressure to perform.

    • well evicyber let me tell you Cindy constantly performs, she blesses us at the Y with her daily whining performances, before she goes swimming and before trainer days sometimes after trainer days too). She blesses us with her performances when the raccoons act up and further great Cindy performances are when she sits in the lounge or when she writes her blog or she tells us about great work war stories, you can be sure her much appreciated sharp wit and charm make themselves known – rock on Cindy but try performing at lower anxiety level

      – from one of your biggest fans

      • I have really got to pay more attention to my comments section. Yikes the stuff that bubbles up in here.
        I sense your feeling neglected Intel now that I am on a different schedule than you. I understand your pain, but I have to take care of myself first before I can help other poor unfortunate souls such as yourself!

    • The nature of my work in the past has required that I anticipate and solve problems before they happen. I also come from a family where work comes first. I didn’t realize until I started working out that I was stressed and not handling it very well.

Leave a Reply to crabby mcslacker Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge