I haven’t written for a while. I’m tired! I’m cranky! I’m bored! I want somebody else to make it all better. I don’t want to do this and I don’t want to do that and I don’t want to eat anything healthy. I’m having a full on temper tantrum so I am going to sit and stew about it. OK it isn’t really all that bad. It’s just the fall is my time of the year when I feel my best and I haven’t been feeling my best and I don’t want to take responsibility for it yet. I would rather blame it all on the construction next door (12 hours a day, 7 days a week and their generator running slobs that drove a cement truck back and forth over my lawn and they put the porta-potty under my bedroom window so I smell it.) Also I hurt my back showing off. Usually when things go bad I figure they are unlikely to get worse so I get a little happy. This time I am just wallowing in the sh*t or at least smelling it (OK, I made them move the pooper).
For a while now I have been taking a Mindful Makeover course from JillFit on Facebook. Every day I get an email and assignments so I can figure out what is going on in my head and change a few things that need adjustments. I talked about the course in my post Noticing and Naming Journal. I have now reached the half-way point in the course and I am supposed to answer the following questions. I figured I would share with you so you. Partly so I can navel gaze with an audience that I won’t know if they yawn or leave before the intermission, so I can assume they are fascinated with my every thought.
We thank you for your past support in donating $100 each month to our important cause for the betterment and beautification of a small group of fellow Torontonians. We appreciate that you have only visited the facility that one time to sign up and gain a tour and yet you somehow snagged a coveted eye height non-breeze-way permanent locker. You are a very lucky individual! In exchange for your donation you can take pride in knowing that other less apathetic or possible more desperate or organized individuals can know and fully understand the pain of DOMS first hand.
Why do people fill up my Facebook feed with pictures of their meals? Sometimes they are half eaten meals. I don’t need to know that you perform the sacrilege of letting the green beans touch your mashed potatoes. It puts me right off my food to see that there is a dollup of ketchup on your plate that has obvious signs that has been used but, there is nothing on your plate that goes with ketchup. Are you just sticking your finger in the ketchup and eating it straight. Please tell me you are not dipping the green beans! Bletch!!
So, I’m taking this “Mindset Makeover” course right now that will make my biggest asset (my mind! Not my sarcastic mouth!) even more shiny and beautiful than it is already. I started it a little skeptical because really who is going to tell me anything I don’t already know! I was pretty certain that I don’t talk negatively to myself and blah, I don’t really want to spend time journaling particularly as I can’t read my own writing. Well, you know how it is “the pride comes before a fall”. You know the original quote is “Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs, 16:18. Destruction? Dramatic much?
I have smelt a skunk a few different times at night while I was in bed this summer. I would jump up every time because I thought it was the cat who likes to pee outside his kitty-litter if he is upset. I figure he had upped his game and pooped beside my bed. After much searching and lecturing of the cat, I would figure out the smell was from outside. A skunk! I started to think how many skunks do we have in this neighbourhood? Usually if you smell one you will soon see some poor guy that was run over by a car. No bodies! We don’t have any loose dogs around here that would chase a skunk. Would a raccoon or a cat chase a skunk?
This is an open letter to a certain trainer. How many times do I have to tell you to take it easy on the legs? I need to use them every day, all day! I can function just fine (OK maybe with a lot of grumbling) with sore chest, or arms, or abs, even a sore butt. As long as my hands work and my legs work, I’m good. OK if I’m super tired I’m useless and basically dangerous as well, that’s a given.
So, today I was reading an article about anxiety on the internet written by some doctor. For all I know he could have a doctorate in basket weaving. I didn’t check. Anyway it was the usual thing where they describe your situation perfectly and tell you there is an easy cure and even though other experts have said do this or that, they have a better way. As soon as you see the word easy your thinking “How much money do you want?”. Next the article goes off on a tangent giving you examples and background information and then back to the message that they have the cure. Your eyes are starting to glaze over at this point and you’re ready to give up. Just give me the punch line or tell me what you really want. Stop wasting my time. This article did something different that made me laugh.